How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
