My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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