I should be sponsored by Trojan
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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