just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
