No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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