just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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