Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I want to fling myself into the sun
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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