So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
