He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
home. puking in laundry basket.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
