Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
