glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
