just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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