If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
