her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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