real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
