Betty ford says i'm here all night
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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