in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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