Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
