tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
