I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
