I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
