Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
