She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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