Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
