Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She told me I should be a condom model.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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