I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
