I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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