Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
