I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
