Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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