I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
