Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
