so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
