well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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