i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
