the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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