talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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