Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
