Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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