Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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