I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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