did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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