But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
