U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
