My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He kissed a someone with a penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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