brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
