That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
