I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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