I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
