So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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