I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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